yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
