I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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