I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
