tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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