So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
