woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We left an ass print on the piano.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My vagina is officially offended.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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