you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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