conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
