and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
