I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
