Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize