Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize