I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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