Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
