12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
