I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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