If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
