Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
