They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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