we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
