lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
