that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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