if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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