haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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