i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
