i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
