i don't like sucking hair
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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