Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
