Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
