Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
