You don't have asthma, your pregnant
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
