Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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