I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
