i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
