he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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