He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
