Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
