I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize