I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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