Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
