I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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