Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
