"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize