this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It was confusing and full of hummus
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
