we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will be naked everywhere
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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