i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
