we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
