the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
