32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
