tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
