dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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