who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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