it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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