I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
