He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
