it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize