the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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