Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think my fart just growled at me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
