Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
