If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize